Here’s the Short Version – You need an engagement session because walking into your wedding day already comfortable in front of a camera makes a real difference in how your portraits feel and flow. But after years of working with couples who are planning from out of state, I’ve learned there’s a second reason that matters even more. Keep reading.

If you’ve been asking yourself why you need an engagement session, you’ve probably already come across the usual answers…They’re a way to get comfortable in front of a camera before the wedding day. A chance to get professional photos together, maybe for the first time, instead of using those awesome selfies as your background screen. Images for your wedding website or save the dates. Even a dry run for hair and makeup.

All of that is true, and I still believe in every single one of those benefits. Getting comfortable with your photographer before the wedding genuinely does impact how portraits feel, and flow, on the day itself. That part hasn’t changed for me.

So when couples ask whether they really need an engagement session before the wedding, my answer is always “yes.” But somewhere along the way, the reason behind that answer started to shift, and it starts with something I’m a little embarrassed to admit.

I used to think the welcome party/rehearsal coverage was pointless

For a long time, I offered engagement sessions because the logic made sense: the more time a couple spends in front of my camera before the wedding, the more comfortable they are when it counts. Portraits flow better on the wedding day because they already know what to do and how I operate.

But welcome party coverage? It felt like a dressed-up venue tour. More pictures for the sake of pictures, and honestly? It felt like a couple didn’t trust my judgement of how to use their wedding venue. I was one of those photographers who thought it was unnecessary, and I had that belief for longer than I’d like to admit.

Then something changed…

The couples choosing me changed how I thought about my work

At some point, I started working with couples who were deeply intentional about their weddings. Not in a Pinterest-board way, though that too. I mean, in a people way.

These were couples who talked about how important their families and friends are to them in consultations. Who mentioned how much they wanted to be present with their guests, spend quality time with them during cocktail hour, and actually speak with every single person before the night was over.

And then it hit me: if connection is the whole point of their wedding day, why was I showing up as a stranger to almost everyone in the room? I knew their faces. I knew their names. But their mom, their best friend, their wedding party? How could I be expected to truly understand the connection they share with these people if I didn’t know who they were?

Familiarity can’t be manufactured

Here’s what I know now that I didn’t fully appreciate before: there is no shortcut to it.

When I show up to a welcome party or rehearsal the night before a wedding, the coverage is secondary. What I’m really doing is meeting the people who matter most to the couple. I’m learning names, hearing stories, figuring out who’s who. By the end of the evening, I’m not a vendor anymore. I’m someone they’ve already spent time with and gotten to know on a more human level.

The next day, that changes everything about our interactions.

Family formals move faster because I can call people by name and they already trust me. The wedding party is relaxed because I’m not a stranger walking in with a camera. Parents who were nervous about being photographed have already had a real conversation with me the night before. The couple’s grandmother, who my couple mentioned three times in our consultation, already knows I’m going to take care of her.

For couples who love their people, and most of the couples I work with genuinely do, this matters more than an extra set of photos ever could.

I care about the people who care about their people. That sounds simple, but it took me years to understand that this was actually what I was doing, and to build it intentionally into how I work.

How this shapes the way pre-wedding sessions work

Every wedding package of mine now includes a pre-wedding session instead of the traditional “engagement session”. What that looks like depends on the couple.

For couples who are local to Napa and the surrounding Bay Area and want a full engagement session, that’s usually the right call. More time together, more creative freedom, more variety. We get to explore a location, try different things, figure out what feels natural and what doesn’t. By the time the wedding day arrives, we already have a shorthand and we know what works best.

For out of town couples especially, the session is structured around what’s actually useful. This means we will use this session for the welcome party or rehearsal before the wedding. The goal is the same: walk into the wedding day with the familiarity already built.

I always set aside at least fifteen minutes at the welcome party or rehearsal just for the couple. That’s the engagement session equivalent, condensed. It’s enough time to get comfortable, shake off any nerves, and make sure the camera already feels familiar before the morning of the wedding.

Why I’m telling you this

Not because you should look for this in every photographer you consider. Every photographer works differently, and there’s no single right approach, this just is mine.

But if you are the kind of couple who keeps coming back to your guest experience, who’s thinking about how your parents and siblings will feel on this day, who wants the people you love to feel genuinely taken care of and not just documented, this is part of how I think about my work.

The pre-wedding session is included because the wedding day is better when everyone in the room already feels like they know me. That’s it. That’s the whole reason.

Kristen Campbell is a wedding photographer based in the San Francisco Bay Area, specializing in intimate weddings at vineyards, private estates, and garden venues across Napa Valley and Northern California. View her work → | Explore the Napa Valley wedding planning resources →