If you’ve been wedding planning for even a little while, you’ve probably heard of a “first look.” Some couples swear by it, while others hold tightly to the tradition of saving that moment for the aisle. And here’s the thing, both are beautiful in their own ways. The decision isn’t about what’s “better,” it’s about what feels right for you as a couple.

If you’re still early in the process and figuring out what actually matters when making decisions like this, how to choose the right wedding photographer can play a big role in how supported and confident you feel throughout planning.

As a photographer, my job is not to guide you one way or another, but to provide you with the tools and information you need in order to decide.

What Exactly is a First Look?

A first look is a private moment before the ceremony when you see each other for the first time. Some couples exchange letters or gifts, share their personal vows, or simply stand together in awe of what’s about to unfold. Others prefer to keep it simple, just the two of them, no one else around, taking in the joy of being side by side.

So, what I personally love about this moment is that you don’t have to wait until the end of the ceremony to hug, laugh, cry, and tell one another how amazing you look and how much you love them. You can do that now, while the rush of the day is paused and time seems to stand still.

Why Some Couples Choose a First Look

Over the years, I’ve seen first looks steady nerves, bring calm to anxious mornings, and give couples more time to actually be together on their wedding day. Instead of waiting until the ceremony, they spend hours side by side, celebrating, taking portraits, and still getting to join cocktail hour with their guests later.

For couples who don’t love being the center of attention, this moment can also take away the pressure of having such an emotional reveal in front of everyone. The aisle moment still matters, but by then the nerves are gone and the joy takes over.

Why Some Couples Choose to Wait

On the other hand, many couples choose to save that reveal for the aisle, and for them, it becomes the most powerful moment of their wedding day. There’s something truly magical about the buildup: the music swells, guests rise to their feet, and then that long-awaited moment arrives as the bride turns the corner and walks toward her groom.

If you’ve always pictured that exact scene, holding onto it can feel sacred. The anticipation heightens every emotion, and when your eyes finally meet, it’s overwhelming in the best way. Surrounded by your loved ones, you’re sharing not just a private exchange, but a collective moment of joy that everyone in the room gets to witness. As a bride myself, I remember walking down the aisle and feeling everything else fade away…call it tunnel vision. All I could see was my groom waiting for me at the end, and in that moment, nothing else mattered.

Well, what about a first touch?

Sometimes couples ask me about doing a “first touch,” which is where a couple is holding hands around a corner or exchanging vows, but without seeing each other. While it can feel like a sweet compromise, I don’t usually recommend it. A first touch carries much of the same emotional pressure as a first look, but without the benefits.

Logistically, it often creates a time crunch similar to a first look but doesn’t allow us to accomplish portraits together, full wedding party portraits, or immediate family formals. In other words, you still pause your day for that emotional build-up, but none of the timeline advantages come with it.

For this reason and more, I want to encourage couples to either fully embrace a first look, with all the benefits it brings, or save that moment for the aisle. Both options give you a more meaningful experience and a timeline that flows smoothly.

How to Decide What’s Right for You

So how do you decide? The key is to look beyond logistics and ask yourselves what truly fits your personalities, priorities, and vision for the day. Here are some questions to talk through together:

• How do you each feel about being in the spotlight? Do you enjoy sharing emotions with your friends and families, or do you prefer a quieter moment just between the two of you?
• Do you imagine spending more of your wedding day together, or do you value the anticipation of waiting until the aisle?
• Is exchanging vows, letters, or gifts in private important to you, or do you want those emotions shared during the ceremony?
• How much time do you want with your guests during cocktail hour? Would a longer cocktail hour make sense if portraits come after the ceremony?
• What season and ceremony time are you planning? Will you still have daylight for portraits if you wait until later in the day?
• When you picture your wedding in hindsight, which moment feels most meaningful to you: the intimacy of a first look, or the drama and joy of that first aisle reveal?

If you’re on the fence and still aren’t sure what’s right for you, reach out to me and we’ll talk through to find out what best aligns with your personalities AND priorities.

~Kristen~